Like a Little Old Lady

Getting Monster's teeth cleaned (and any number of extractions, as deemed necessary) wouldn't be worth it, the vet said.

Obviously, a cat has to be put all the way under for something like this, and Monster is old. "It would be like putting a 95-year-old little old lady under anesthesia," she explained.

Monster is probably about 17. He's a boy, but the image of the little old lady fit somehow and has stuck ever since. He's a scrawny little thing. Though he's Siamese, his points are a faint, pale brown, which has the effect of making him seem old -- like a white-haired old man.

He's always been grumpy, too. Actually, he looks like he could be related to Grumpy herself. "Get off of my lawn, you kids!" one can imagine him yelling. Recently Monster was scratching his ears a lot and seemed to lose a bit of his brown fur in the area as a result. My boyfriend suggested that maybe this was simply male pattern baldness.

So yes, he seems old.

At the same time, he's a cat. Which means he's incredibly athletic for an oldster! He can be spotted leaping at least a foot straight up into the air just to hop over one of his cat siblings (who happens to be in his way).  Too grumpy for a simple "excuse me". He's also been seen leaping halfway across the room, from the desk where he's climbed, all the way over to the chest of drawers, on top of which is a bowl of crunchy food. He does this with the grace of a ballerina or Olympic athlete.

Oh, Monster! You're not getting that old, are you?

You've still got it, old man!